Creating a Shop-ster

Now when we are in a clothing store, Ella wants to get out from her stroller and "shop." Just the way a lot of us will look through the rack, so does Ella! I guess she's had plenty of time to observe. She is definitely learning through imitation....

How do I not create a "shop-ster" when I am one myself? I have been reflecting deeply on this- though you may be chuckling as you read because it seems like such a shallow subject to begin with.... Let me start from the beginning of my shopping madness...

While I was only a few months pregnant, I began buying baby clothes- always on sale, which seemed to justify my large purchases at first. Then at some point, she just had way more than she actually needed, at which point, who cares if it's a bargain? Enough is enough. But still I shopped and shopped. I used to try to put it all away very inconspicuously, so Ryan wouldn't notice how full her closet became... Well, he's not an idiot! Luckily though he never minded so much that it caused arguments. Now that Ella has a closet FULL of clothes for 12-18 months, and plenty in 18 - 24 months, and then 2 years just waiting to be worn you would think that I'm done. But no, I am still frequently browsing my favorite stores online for any "must-haves"... I also considered a couple of times, loaning or giving some away- each time I just couldn't do it! I'd end up buying more clothes to give as a gift out of guilt of not being able to part with anything from my "collection."

What is wrong with me? Do other mothers go this crazy or is it just me? From the mommy friends that I have, I seem to be on the far end of the scale... So, I'm thinking something probably is wrong.... And thus in my self- psychoanalysis I have decided that I have always felt insecure in what I am wearing and am trying to prevent Ella from feeling the same. If that just sounds like an excuse, trust me, my analysis doesn't make me feel any better...

I remember once a Spanish teacher telling me in junior high that I looked like Barney (yeah, Barney). In front of the whole class. It's because I was wearing a purple shirt and green pants. And you know what? I really liked that outfit! Well, I don't think I ever wore that again... I remember once going to a church event and not taking my jacket off the entire time because I thought my shirt was too tight, and I didn't want to be judged. And there were plenty of times I was reluctant to even go to church because I just didn't know what to wear. Even now when Ryan and I are like, "maybe we should go to church?" I'll be thinking "wait, what would I wear?" It's not just church events either. For instance, I love going to nice dinners with Ryan, but even then, it's like "WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?" Not to mention what shoes to wear!

While Ella rotates from adorable outfit to adorable outfit, I am rotating between 2 pairs of pants and about 5 shirts. I had more clothing choices, before I had a baby! You'd think I'd just go get more clothes for myself, but that's easier said than done. I am still up 10 pounds and not feeling up to buying clothes in a bigger size : ( I bought one pair of pants in a size so big I won't even say- I felt so sad trying all the pants on, I was crying in the dressing room. You'd think I'd cut back on the sweets, head to the gym... What can I say? I love to eat (I am a dietitian!) and I hate leaving Ella screaming in the childcare center at the gym. And the cycle of feeling less than beautiful goes on and on...

Which brings me to the next realization. I took all the compliments that my sister received while we were younger, as an implication that I wasn't pretty. Growing up, it felt like everyone always told my sister how pretty she was- but not me. What some family would remark on, was that they thought I was skinny. Not such a good thing to tell a young girl. I just felt even more worried about gaining weight- which I eventually did. So what's left to feel good about?

So there you have it. I didn't feel like I was pretty. I think I'm buying a ridiculous amount of clothes because I want the girl that Ella becomes, to always feels beautiful. So what's so wrong with my shopping then? Does that make it okay? I'm still not sure.... I do know one thing for sure. No matter what Ella wears, it doesn't make me feel pretty! So, while I do love buying her cute stuff, maybe what I should really do is work on beautifying myself... because as it turns out, that may be the real problem.

Well, this blog was more serious than intended, but this is what happens when I stay up late and blog, I guess. Typing while sleepy has its dangers: loss of inhibition. Hey, why would I ever pay for therapy when I'd rather use the money for buying baby clothes? : ) Might as well just blog my feelings : ) Then go shopping- or not : )

Birthdays!!!

Ella is 1 year old now!!!!!! Actually 1 year and 1 week old now! We had Ella's birthday party at a local petting zoo which was great, although it was HOT! It seemed like all the little kiddos didn't mind the heat. In fact, Ella was happy the whole time. She managed to make it to just about the very end of the party (which stretched out to 4 1/2 hours) when she wanted to nurse, and then of course fell right asleep! We had a good time, I think it turnd out well, but I did learn a few things like: don't wait til the day of your party to do the bulk of your shopping and make sure that you leave time to set-up for your party!!! We had our guests helping put out our decorations, yikes! I have always been pushing it on time... go figure. The funny thing is that I love planning things- just can't seem to plan to be on time! I'm already thinking about what we should do next year : ) Karaoke? It'd be inside with AC.... I'm going to have to convince Ryan that karaoke would be fun : ) At 2 years old, the party is still just as much for the adults as it is for her, right?

Ella sitting on a pony with Grandma Goldie at her side. In the picture below, Ella is with my mom, "Nana." She came in for a few days to help out with the party- BIG help!

And.... drumroll.............

We got a puppy! Actually, it's Ryan's puppy for his birthday, to be technical : ) Anyway, she's a lemon beagle, about 11 weeks old and super sweet. She was pretty shy at first, but she's warming up to us really nicely. She definitely likes to be around us : ) I'm saying "she" because we still haven't given her a name! We keep tossing names out like Bella, Betty, Beth, Daisy, etc but so far nothing feels right... Any ideas? I love our little puppy : ) I was really reluctant about getting one, since I know puppies typically mean accidents involving poop, pee, slober, fleas, yuck! And yes, there has already been poop and pee accidents in the house : ( And her nails made little tears on the ottoman (sign), but I think we picked up the perfect little pup for us : ) She's sweet. Ella and her seem to get along great so far- of course as a puppy she playfully nips, and Ella doesn't mind (!) I know, that sounds alarming, but it's quite innocent- but we will keep a close eye on those two to be safe. In this picture below, Ella is sneaking off with the pup's little snuggle toy!!! Scoundrel! : )

Today I sat down and filled out a baby signing memory book with Ryan. Guess how many signs our little smartie pants knows? 38!!! And that's the ones that we've observed! Not included in that number are a few "iffy" ones. I'm pretty sure she knows more (from watching her Baby Signing Time dvds), but we just haven't been able to put them all into context yet. Anyway, I'm so happy we started using sign language for her- it's such a great feeling when I know she really wants- for example- more milk, more food, or if she's all done. And whether or not it's from signing, I can really tell that her comprehension of language is building tremendously.

Ella is still going on the potty routinely- yesterday morning when I sat her on the toilet she immediately peed, then pooped, then signed and said "done!" We just need to work on her telling us she has go - we're still just following a regular routine which works, but ultimately she needs to be the one to determine when to go. Also, Ella is walking more and more- I would say that she's a toddler at this point! Toddling around and occasionally landing on her tush since she's still perfecting this new skill : )

Now, while I just said how WONDERFUL everything is, I'll admit- I'm seeing how your baby can test your patience! Ella is pinching and scratching right now- even biting somtimes- not out of malice, but excitement I think, or just not knowing any better. (Can a 1 year old even be naughty? I'm pretty sure the studies say no, although I'm not so sure myself....) So, I'm trying to teach her how to touch nice, and that teeth aren't used when giving kisses! This new part of parenthood- discipline, is definitely a stressful one since you just want to do what's right... Anyway, the one good thing is that Ryan and I are pretty much on the same page.... I swear Ella loves to use the word "no" now since she's hearing it a lot, and I even heard her like sing it once, lol... Pinch, scratch, bite- she's still the cutest little thing ever : )

While doing laundry, Ella climbed in the laundry basket, and I thought it was so cute, I raced to get the camera, and of course when I was finally ready, she had climbed out! So I asked her if she'd go back in so I could take her picture, and she did! She's posing for me here! : ) Like I said, cutest thing ever! : )

Nice hat!!!!

Here's my little cutie pie, with her bloomers on her head! That's how Daddy does it : ) Ella seems to be slowly turning into a Daddy's girl - you should hear her say "Da-da" Well, as always I feel like there's lots to say, but I'm just too lazy to blog all that much! I should mention though, that Ella is taking mutliple steps now- like twelve steps at a time! Smiling the whole time, it's so cute : )

Here's a picture of Ryan and Ella taking a nap earlier today....

Monday's highlights

I'd really like to "catch up" but it's nearly midnight and as productive as today felt, there's still so much on my "to-do" list that this post has to be short! So, here are the highlights of today - August 3rd....

• Ella signed hat, warm and cold today for the first time! Other recent signs include: love, baby, drink, eat, more -Older ones include: lights on/off, milk, dog, bird, wash hands, dirty, cheese, all done...
• We went to a sample Kindermusik class today and when the teacher dimmed the lights, Ella immediately signed lights once she noticed the change in lighting- very exciting for me to see!
• Ella has lots of books around that she'll pull out and leaf through. She loves, loves, loves to look at her books. Well today, I noticed her signing along with one of her signing books! She had the book open to a page that said something like, "Where is Sookie's hat" with a picture of a baby patting her head (which is the sign for hat in ASL). Ella was patting her head as she looked at the book, and when she caught me looking over at her she smiled really big - it was her "showing-off" smile....
• Ella stood up from sitting without even using her hands (she was holding a ball) and then took a few steps! Of course, that's when I wasn't in the room! Just like when Ryan got to see her very first steps a few days ago while I was upstairs : ( I'm at home all day long and she saves those special moments for Daddy! Totally unfair!
• Ella has gotten so good at climbing on/off furniture that today she climbed down from the arm of the sectional, which is quite a height for her- she almost scared me half to death! I jolted over to her, but it turned out she didn't even need my help.
• Ella has mastered the child-locks on the kitchen cabinets.... quite a pain really, but I have to say I'm proud to see her develop problem-solving skills! She figured it out maybe 2 weeks ago actually, but boy today she really showed me what an expert she is at it now...

Well, that should paint a pretty good picture of how things have been lately! I love being with her and watching her figure things out, seeing her take such pride and joy in all her little feats : ) I just LOVE her so much : ) So does Ryan- today he was holding his breath every time that she came close to a corner on the TV stand... She's precious to us : ) We did try to put something on those corners - but Ella took them off, of course!!! Hehe....

Why is it that babies always learn "no" so easily?

Okay, so I finally added pics to facebook, and now I am all tired out from being on the computer...   But I hate to take sooooo long to blog, so here is a video that I've been wanting to share...  It's at least 6 weeks old, but so cute, I think it's still worth sharing!  More to come later!

Happy Father's Day!

Well, as I'm typing it's actually after midnight and so I guess it's not Father's Day anymore... Anyway, I thought since it's been a couple of weeks since I last blogged (did I mention my laptop I just got at Christmas is DEAD!?! That's just one of the reasons why I haven't been keeping this up well) and now I'm not even posting pictures since I don't know where the camera cords are... oh well... I used to just put the SD card into the laptop, that was pretty convenient... Hopefully I will get my laptop fixed soon, but to be honest it's not high on my priority list...

So, what's the latest with Ella Bella? Today Ella made the sign for "potty" which is pretty exciting for us! She actually has been doing the sign for "lights on/off" for awhile now- and that one she picked up because we would say lights on/off as we entered or exited the bathroom when we put her on the potty. Repetition, repetition, repetition! I think if we were more consistent with other signs she'd pick them up too, but it's hard to remember to use signs all the time.

And while we're on the potty subject- drumroll... Ella pooped on the potty today! Actually she's done it seven or eight times since my last post, all within the past two weeks. Usually it's in the morning, but today it was in the afternoon after a long nap. Yesterday was actually a big deal, because I really felt like she was trying to tell me to put her on the potty- and when I did, boy did she poop a big one! I would say that typically we decide when to try putting her on, but this time she was in charge! Now I understand why people who do "potty-train" early call it Elimination Communication- it really is about communication! Anyway, I was so excited that I took pictures and a video, sent a picture over the phone to my mom, my sister and my mother-in-law... Ryan said that I'm totally weird and should definitely not put a video or pictures of it on the blog, hehe... I guess.... : )

Other mentionable things: Ella can clap, wave hello/good-bye, give kisses (with her mouth wide open!), shake her head no, and stick out her tongue- it's very cute! What's really adorable is that she understands when you ask her to do it, and she does! Of course, she doesn't do it much for company!!! Today she shook her head up and down (versus side to side for no) but I'm not sure if she understands that it is a gesture for "yes", and she doesn't do that one when asked to do so. The other really sweet thing she just started doing this past week, is to "share" her food or toy. Usually I have to ask for a bite and then she'll put whatever food she's holding up to my mouth- but if there's no food in her hand at the moment, she just puts her empty hand up to mouth. So there might not be a full understanding behind it, but who knows? She's surprising us every single day now with something.... Two days ago she climbed up on to the couch by holding onto a blanket that I was sitting on, and using it to pull herself up. Oh and she's also started to sway to music, very cute! : )

Ella's still taking swim lessons- at Lifetime Fitness right now. It's hard to say if it's really helping her at all, but it's something that we can do together and she seems to like it a lot. She also just started taking classes at The Little Gym. Now that, she LOVES, and it's definitely worth the time and money. Part of why she likes it is probably seeing all the other little kids right around her age- when her cousin Donovan was visiting just this past week, she had SOOOO much fun playing with him. He just turned one, so they make for cute little buddies crawling around together... Donovan would give Ella kisses spontaneously : )

Well, I wish I were better at blogging to make this whole thing more organized and interesting, but I've decided it's okay if this isn't a really great blog.... My goal right now is being a good parent, and that's pretty consuming. Not everyone agrees with the right "method" for that, but for me it means giving Ella a lot of attention, which means less time for other stuff... like this! : )

One more thing- since it's Father's Day... I just have to add that Ryan is a very attentive, loving daddy who will feed, change, and bathe Ella routinely and without complaint. He really does a lot, and not because I nag for him to do things. He loves his little baby, and she loves him : )

All time and eternity...

Wow it's been so long since I last posted!!!  Same old story- internet trouble (I actually already started blogging, had some kind of problem, lost the post and then had to start over!!!) along with the problem of having no really good time to blog...  actually right now Ryan is with Ella for her swim class, and someone else is cleaning our house!!!  As part of celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary, which was yesterday, Ryan decided to hire someone to clean our house- and he wants to keep it as a regular thing...  You know what I'm thinking?  I'm sooooo glad I married Ryan! : )  Hehe...  There are, of course, many more reasons but if you read the post from Valentine's Day, you already know I married my prince charming : )  Looking back over the three years we've been married, I feel very happy...  And I'm so glad that we have our little Ella Bella!

So what's new with Ella?  Her swim class that she's in now is a group class with kids up to 4 years old (I think).  At first she was a little apprehensive- probably because of her previous "intense" swim instruction by Glendy, but now she really loves being in the water.  By the way, having tried out both kinds of classes I would definitely recommend Glendy's private classes.  Ella doesn't get much attention from the instructor with the class that she's in right now- there's just too many kids and with such an age range- I almost might as well just play with her a pool by myself.  The truth is though, that I also enjoy some kind of structure and routine, so we're going to keep taking swim classes over the summer- we're just going to try out Lifetime Fitness' classes.  Ella only has one more class left at the place we're going to now...

Actually just last night we joined Lifetime Fitness, and I'm pretty excited to get back into a fitness routine!  : )  I haven't really make any effort to lose weight and I feel pretty confident that with some effort, I'll slowly see some results...  Ten pounds and I would be happy, twenty pounds and I would be ecstatic!  I actually already had a gym membership at 24 Hour Fitness, but I have used it once in the past year- how pathetic, huh?  Anyway, since Lifetime Fitness has GREAT childcare for members (up to 2 hours everyday, for free), a huge rockclimbing wall Ryan can use, a beautiful indoor and outdoor pool, and lots of children's activities- I feel a little more motivated to use their facilities...  Another reason is that I joined that hula group I was talking about earlier, and a few of the girls practice there...  Anyway, I'm glad to finally have some motivation to get back into shape! 

Back to Ella!!!  She is totally a momma's girl right now : )  Apparently she is mostly putting on a show- when I leave and when I return she turns on the water works!  In between she'll be pretty happy though...  (Well, not always!)  She normally says "ma-ma-ma-ma" but when she's upset she'll get out "mom-meeee"  Hehehe...  She's still using the potty every day- we try to do it whenever she gets a diaper change (as long as we're at home), and she'll normally go "pee-pee in the potty" at least 3 times every day.  Her record is 5 times in one day!  And once, she even pooped on cue! 

Unfortunately, Ella has been having trouble sleeping lately : (  I think it's the combination of the start of separation anxiety, teething pain, and her increased activity.  I was reading on BabyCenter.com that once babies hit new milestones they sometimes practice in their sleep and it wakes them up...  I guess I'd have to watch her sleeping to see if she suddenly started "sleep-crawling"!!!  She is crawling really well now, and she loves to pull herself to a standing position anywhere she can get a good grip.  Once she got crawling, she really started getting better and better...

Hmmm, I'm trying to think of what else is new....  Ella makes the funniest faces lately, I'll have to try to get a video of it sometime so I can post it....  : )  I have more pictures and videos to post but I'm just too lazy to do it right now....  Hopefully I won't take so long to post again!